People that shouldn't be allowed in the gym

Hello people, and welcome back to TWB, the favourite part of your Friday. I’m here every Friday to spice up your dull lives. Today’s topic is about the gym. I’ve been going to the gym for about 2 months now, so it’s safe to say that I know my way around the gym (thanks Abdullahi ).

When there’s 30+ sweaty men in one space, things tend to get messy. That’s 30+ men, drunk with testosterone. Good luck with that. This is why I think that gyms have a huge downside. There’s 4 types of people that shouldn’t even be allowed in a gym.

1: Recently divorced dads

Whenever I see a middle-aged man with anger issued in the gym, I call them a recently divorced dad. I don’t care if they have daddy issues, or if their son turned out to be homosexual, I like working out in peace.

They take out all the anger stored in them, onto us law abiding citizens. They smash the weights down, and glare at you, staring straight into your soul. If looks could kill. My best advice would be to steer clear of these devils, if you take your mental and physical health seriously.

2: Hoggers

These people probably have separation anxiety. They love hogging EVERYTHING, and anything they can get their hands on. The bench, the dumbbells, even the locker rooms. Relax man. Sharing is caring.

Once they see you approaching a machine, they automatically rush there just in time before you. Even if they were resting. If they can’t have it, then why should you? I’ll admit that I’m guilty of this (from time to time though).

3: Impatient bastards

I’ll admit that I’m not the most patient person in the world, but these guys are on a different level. They come strutting from a different machine, expecting you to move. Their favourite phrase is “hurry up”. Absolute scum.

These are the type that piss me off the most, I’d love them to punch them in the throat, or in some cases, completely emasculate them.

Yesterday, the same situation occurred to me and my friend (the Abdullahi earlier mentioned IF you were paying attention that is) . We were obliterating our workout (as usual) when an impatient bastard came over and told us to “hurry up”. I just swiftly put him in his place, and went about my business. Let’s just say that’s the last time he’ll be bothering us. Wow, the gym really toughened me up.

4: The unhinged

I’ll be honest with you, the crazies make the gym more fun. But when you’re short on time, and you want to get it over and done with, they’ll drive you up the wall.

For example, there’s one guy in my gym, who rolls in with a hitler moustache. He’s guilty of lots of things including: meowing during exercises, making animal noises, moaning into stranger’s ears, and the list goes on, and on… Bottom line is, he shouldn’t even be let out of his house, let alone the gym.

Well there you have it folks, another banger as usual. Let me know if you like this new, more comical style of writing. You already know the drill 👇

Also, here’s the new Instagram page, so don’t be shy. See you on TWB next week!